50%Acceptance|50%improvement

Hi !

hope y’all doing well ..

SO , I got the chance recently to know about another entertaining podcast show called SlapDuck podcast “!!they make very good content so check it out”

and in EP57 they talked about self improvement .. and your ‘type A personality girl’ is all about that shit her whole life xD

“to listen to the episode click here”

and as you may know , a month ago I went to BTS concert , the last one in their amazing tour “LOVE YOURSELF – SPEAK YOURSELF” in Ryiadh-saudi arabia !! and the day before the concert was “world mental health day” so the theme of the events was kinda matching ha!

The SlapDuck guys talked about a lot of things and they mentioned valid points that I can relate to a lot of them . as a young doctor , an artist and “a walking talking mood disorder” xD i can say that we are facing a very big mental crisis .

after listening to the episode I looked back at the 25 years I’ve lived and I was like ” damn , I was addicted to the need of improvement all the time that I didn’t take a single moment to ACCEPT and Appreciate the things I’ve already accomplished !” .. like , how can I improve something if i’m not accepting it as a “whole” in first place ?

I was and i’m still obsessed about the idea that I can be and do better , I can look prettier , I can be more fit , I can get higher grades , more trophies , I can work hard and lose sleep so I will be the best version of myself .. till the point that any compliment won’t be taken seriously by me and i’ll feel like ‘nah , it isn’t that good .. they are just exaggerating , I could’ve done better than that and next time I will do better’ , although I did ! I will get 5 out of 5 GPA and I will immediately find a way to belittle it “oh I think there are ppl who could’ve done it too but I just got lucky” and “grades aren’t everything I gotta go to the field and have real experiences” and yeah i’ll lose my vacations , weekends , i’ll miss great events just because I want to be trained , see more patients , read more , learn more , practice more ! I will literally handle all the cases myself and help them all and my seniors will be happy but still , IT’S NOT ENOUGH ! not only studying wise , in 2016 , I remember having this discussion with a friend of mine , she’s an artist too, we talked about how we will never be satisfied about the final product , that most of the time we will keep working on a painting and correcting it until we RUIN it and toss it in the trash !  .. and it goes on .. a viscous cycle of stress , demands , un-satisfaction and perfectionism .. they all kept crashing me till the point that I really forgot how to just accept people’s compliments as I do with criticism , or at least tap on my own head and tell myself “you did well” “it’s enough” “enjoy the outcome” ” celebrate the moment” etc.. 

“Loving myself might be harder Than loving someone else .. Let’s admit it , The standards I made are more strict for myself” – SUGA | BTS

YOU EASILY BURN-OUT BEACAUSE YOU ARENT TAKING THE TIME TO BREATH :

loading yourself with tasks and promising yourself that in the future you will rest more .. won’t get you anywhere .. you will end up escaping , running aimlessly and losing your mind more everyday . burnout syndrome will be haunting you as long as you are looking forward or backward more then looking at your own palms now and here . someone once told me to take one step a day and it will be enough .. and I was like daaamn ! why am I leaping ?

PEER PRESSURE IS A BIT*H :

competition is good , normal and really help you improve and learn and bring the best of you ,but too much competition is SICK . the best way to avoid this is to choose the people around you at your working or studying place , and make your own small world with very obvious boundaries so people won’t step inside of it and make you feel uncomfortable with yourself and pressure you to prove yourself while it’s not needed or wanted .

TOO MUCH PLANNING IS DROWNING :

setting goals , ticking tasks on your phone , and making new years resolutions sound FUN AND SO GROWN UP ! but like anything in the world , the moment it turns into a job with commitment it will be just another factor to make you stressed . 3 days a week , 1 week a month that goes wasted without any strict plans .. will add more space for you to just relax and will make you appreciate the little things more .

A SOFT PLACE TO LAND :

“The one among you who wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body and has his food for the day, it is as if the whole world were brought to him” – Prophet mohammad pbuh .

I don’t know about you guys . but comparison is my enemy , I mean sometimes people will tell you to look at those who have less than you and tell you to be grateful that you aren’t like them .. this makes me more stressed and sad because I will be like ” I don’t deserve this ” and “why would someone suffer while i’m here being privileged by chance?” , on the other hand .. looking for those who got more than what i have now ..obviously will make me greedy and uncomfortable with what I have so I will keep on searching for more “which is good at times but we are humans , we get carried away sometimes” . SO what about the things that we don’t pay mind to .. although it’s there for almost EVERYONE all the time and we run to it unconsciously .. the small ray of sunshine , the cold breeze , a warm cup , the fact that the people you love still exist in this world and you can run to them and just chat or eat a good meal with them . I mean money Is good , job is good , fame is good , dreams are GOOD ! but just existing alongside the priceless things that bring you joy is what you only need to survive sometimes .

IF THE BRAKES ARE ALREADY BROKEN THEN JUST STEP ON THE GAS PEDALS :

it’s good to acknowledge that you need to try , I mean nobody would go anywhere or be with anyone if they aren’t trying .. staying in your comfort zone is an attractive idea , but giving anything a try once or twice won’t hurt .. in the end we all need reasons to cling to .. if it works then CONGRATS you made it , if not then whatever ? it’s a journey and we can learn to fix it down the road ..& if we couldn’t fix it then we can just make a fun story out of it .